In my search to add more silver to my lining, I think I found some. After exchanging several e-mails with Jamey (our trainer) and several in my running group, I think I'm once again in a frame of mind to continue onward toward completing the half-marathon next month.
He said we were supposed to feel fatigued at this point. (I do vaguely remember him saying that way back at the beginning.) As far as my body aching all the time goes, even some of that is normal. But since my heart rate has been higher as of late, this indicates that it's taking my body longer to recover from the training I'm doing, so he suggested I take it easy for a few days, then get back at it by running shorter distances for awhile.
The entire group got an e-mail from him last night, encouraging all of us to keep at it. He also reminded us that it doesn't matter if we WALK the entire 13.1 miles, our goal is just to finish. Come to think of it, walking that far is something I would never think I could do all in one day. However, I don't envision walking most of it.
We're so close now to the end. Apparently, there have been some of our group that have dropped out altogether, either due to injuries or some other reason. I hate hearing that. Even though I have felt like quitting, that has never been an option for me personally. Jamey has offered the option of doing the 4-mile Run/Walk that will also be going on that day, but for me, to do anything less than the 13.1 will be letting myself down. And barring injury or illness, that's just what I'll be doing, whether I run mostly or walk mostly.
And speaking of injury or illness, I will really be upset if I get all the way to September 27th and something prevents me from doing this race. That would really bite.
So, I'm cutting myself some slack since I'm allowed to, and this evening Romie and I walked. He didn't walk as far as I did, since he worked all day and then installed our new dishwasher AND he still hasn't been released from the doctor following his heart catheterization. I covered a little over three miles, which is the distance I was supposed to run. I did run a little - just half a mile - and fast-walked the rest of it. It took me a little less than 45 minutes to do that, which really isn't that bad.
My legs were tired and tingly all over when I finished, but I recovered much more quickly. It will be interesting to see what my heart rate is tomorrow morning. This morning it was 56, which is nearly ten points higher than it had been running. I don't know that I expect a huge change, but I hope it's lower when I check it tomorrow.
I feel grateful that I haven't experienced any injuries yet and I hope I don't. There are several in our group that have, and I feel bad for them. Some are attempting to run again after taking some time off and they have my utmost respect. If I had an injury, I don't know if I would have the determination to keep going like they have.
So I'm done with all the gloom and doom and I'm going to keep going and I WILL run on September 27th - and walk, too! That doesn't mean it will ever get easier, but I've been through much worse, and I'll make it through this, too.
Thanks to those of my fellow runners that have offered encouragement and empathy, and of course, Jamey, who always has words of wisdom. As he said to me last night -
"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me."